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Weightloss Journey N°1 What motivates me?

weightloss_journey

 

I know! That seems to be an easy question! Because I want to feel prettier, lighter, more attractive or,I want to be more active.
But an important question is, what motivated you really?

It seems to be weird for me to write about something like that, since I am a “your body, your rules” advocate. Loving your body the way it is, doesn’t mean  that you are not allowed to feel unwell sometimes. And that you are not allowed to change.

 

During the last year, I accidentaly gained about 10kg of weight. I guess I was stress-eating and sad-eating because my boyfriend had to go back to Australia. Compensation. A lot of people try to fill the void inside their little hearts with food.

 

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this is me, in the very moments before I write this post

I didn’t go wild on chocolate or anything like that. I’m not that much of a sweet tooth.
It was just enough to develop unhealthy eating habits. Like eating late, only cooking quick things, or not cooking at all. When I was living with my boyfriend we both put a lot of effort into our diet. But by living alone and working, coming home and being tired, you kind of don’t feel inspired to cook elaborate dishes.
It was all okay for most of the time, since I’m frequently 5 kg up and 5 kg down and I never felt particulary unwell in my body.

When I started to feel unwell and talked about losing weight, a lot of my thinner girlfriends said “Oh, don’t worry, you look just fine. You don’t have to be thin to be pretty” Thank you, appreciated! Very much! But if you don’t have to live in a body that you don’t feel well in, it’s hard to understand.

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Another thing I heard frequently was “Men like a bit more curvy girls.” Which is fine too, but the wellbeing of a human shouldn’t be equated with the optical preferences of an other one.
I think i picked a very difficult topic to write about, but I just love sharing my thoughts with you guys.

 

So, I was on the set of a little video shoot. A friend that I went to University with  asked me to do some dancing and being funny for the video, which is normally no problem for me. But when I saw the actual footage I noticed that I moved different than usual and that I just wasn’t feeling that sure about myself, compared to older videos. So I thought, well. If I don’t feel well, let’s change a bit, for my personal wellness.

253574_1961921181720_637494_nhere I was about 19, after my first weight loss adventure. 58-61 kg.

 I discovered that it is healthy to ask yoursef some questions before you start your journey. If I have learned anything from doing Yoga it is, that the right mindset does 50% of the trick.
When I was about 16 I did some weightloss for the first time. But it was all motivated by wanting to fit in, selfhate, selfcondemnment and such. So of course it wasn’t a really healthy way. I basically just didn’t eat much. And since I did not do it for myself, it all was a lot harder. If you do it for yourself a lot of pressure is taken away from you.

 

 

I guess I want to move more and also eat more healthy food. I don’t like to be hungry.

I don’t really trust scales. Because they can be broken or your body can store more water than usual. Also if you also work on toning your body and building up muscles too, you may not see a lot of change in the numbers.  But here you have my weight.

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Brutal and honest. 70.5 kg on 163,5 cm of height.

I am a bit uneasy about setting weight goals. But I will provide you with visual evidence of my progress or also failure.

 

See you in Part Two!

Lots of Love,

          Raphaela



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