milk & honey beauty bath


Well, I’m not the biggest fan of bathing in  pure milk and honey when the population of my kingdom is starving to death and are busy building pyramids and such. But luckily, I don’t have that much responsibility. And I don’t fill up the whole fucking tub with pure cow-juice.


Imagine after a rainy, awful day full of work and stress you can drop all your sorrows with your clothes as you glide into the tender warmness of milk and hot water,  let the soft smell of honey caress your troubled mind, while the milk kisses your skin and softens it.

“Do you want anything else, my Queen?”, one of your man-servants asks you politely.

“Put on my favourite tune!”, you say in a soft but commanding voice.  Seconds later the  sound of The Bangles echoes through the holy halls of your majestic bathroom.

you can all most smell the amounts of hairspray the used in the 80ies as you relax more

So how did your man-servants prepare your royal bath? Easy.

  • two cups of cow-juice (milk) from happy cows
  • 3 tablespoons honey from the local bee-keeper of your trust


Just pour the milk into the tub while you fill it with water and hold the spoon under that water spurt, so it won’t stick onto the sides of your bathtub.

As you snip your fingers your man-servant starts to fan air with a palm tree. Another relaxed sigh.

When your boyfriend gets bored of pretending to be in egypt and fanning you with plastic leaves and you wonder what the actual Cleopatra was up to you can watch the video below to learn about the original boss bitch.

Pro-Tip: If your man-servant (boyfriend or girlfriend, whatevs) hasn’t left at this point already, tell him/her to get you a hot Chai Latte with extra cinnamon.


So, have fun while feeling like the queen you deserve to be!


With Love,


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